He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
