the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
