k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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