Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
