i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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