the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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