If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
