Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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