if you like me you must not know who I am
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
