with your own penis?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
