well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
