how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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