belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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