Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The best revenge is premature balding
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
