So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
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You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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