Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
