and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
