Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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