I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
