it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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