i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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