So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
