thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How does one acquire holy water?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
