I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
