READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
