So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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