your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
