oh god the rape fog is back!
kristin has been a bad kristin
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
