You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
