I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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