So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
