Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just pee around me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
