I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
