So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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