instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
