**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
