It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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