yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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