just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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