hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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