Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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