We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
