I bet he comes in French.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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