I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
