Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
