Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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