I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Congratulations! We have a period
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