We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
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I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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