everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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