I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
oh god was she eating orange peels again
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
