In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
