my vag is so smooth its legendary
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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