How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
