I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
