if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
