2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
