Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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