I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
