Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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