apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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